mt
I wish I was less obsessed with Kurt.I wish I just listened to his music without searching behind him.I wish I didn’t care that much about his misery.It’s not his death that kills me it’s his misery that led to his death.I thought I was okay with the fact that he died miserable before I was even born until 2 days ago.My brother was watching the movie “Last Days” that was inspired by the last days of Kurt.There was a song called “Death To Birth” by Michael Pitt the hero of the movie.This song was tribute to Kurt.It was so beautiful & depressing.It inspired me to write a song dedicated to Kurt coz I’m a song writer but it was one of the most depressing songs I ever wrote.I kept crying until my face became yellow & even when I stopped crying in the middle of the next day,I’m still depressed as hell! This song is just stuck in my head,the voice,the lyrics & Michael’s sad performance.I feel so addicted to it.I’m preventing myself from listening to it because I tested myself and I literally cry every fucking time I try to listen to it.It’s a torture & I can’t get myself out of it coz I was already depressed because of my fucking life.I’m trying to stop myself from crying & feeling sad for Kurt because my tears won’t bring him or mainly won’t make him feel happy if he comes back.I need help.I need to have the ability to listen to this beautiful song without crying.I need to feel that Kurt spent some happy moments like anyone.I need help!

I wish I was less obsessed with Kurt.I wish I just listened to his music without searching behind him.I wish I didn’t care that much about his misery.It’s not his death that kills me it’s his misery that led to his death.I thought I was okay with the fact that he died miserable before I was even born until 2 days ago.My brother was watching the movie “Last Days” that was inspired by the last days of Kurt.There was a song called “Death To Birth” by Michael Pitt the hero of the movie.This song was tribute to Kurt.It was so beautiful & depressing.It inspired me to write a song dedicated to Kurt coz I’m a song writer but it was one of the most depressing songs I ever wrote.I kept crying until my face became yellow & even when I stopped crying in the middle of the next day,I’m still depressed as hell! This song is just stuck in my head,the voice,the lyrics & Michael’s sad performance.I feel so addicted to it.I’m preventing myself from listening to it because I tested myself and I literally cry every fucking time I try to listen to it.It’s a torture & I can’t get myself out of it coz I was already depressed because of my fucking life.I’m trying to stop myself from crying & feeling sad for Kurt because my tears won’t bring him or mainly won’t make him feel happy if he comes back.I need help.I need to have the ability to listen to this beautiful song without crying.I need to feel that Kurt spent some happy moments like anyone.I need help!

posted 1 year ago with 78 notes
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